Death. Am I scared of it? No. I was raised that way. My grandfather taught me to face eath as it is, and be balanced with other levels of the world. So now, here I am, reckless, with no fear of death, stupid and smart at the same time, with more senses than a normal person has.
A whole chunk of my life- no, my whole life, has been full of weird shit. My mother’s crazy for perfection, my dad’s an awesome chill bloke, and my sister the Jerry to my Tom. I have friends, which I can’t mention. We run together as a squad, as a chalk. We drink, eat, drive, and whatnot at the same restaurants, functions, pubs, and the same shooting ranges. Seems pretty normal till you live it.
Suicide. I, look normal, if not England-ish, as some say. Many would say I’m the innocent genius kid senior. No sir, I look like a kid, but I have the same mind as my 20-yr-old friends do. And more than once have I looked at death as a solution.
I don’t fear death. Many a time, when in depression or heavy stress, I’d sneak to my friend’s place, find his semi-auto or revolver, and drive off to some remote place. I still remember the taste of the metal in my mouth, the pressure of the snout against my head. I’d put my finger against the trigger, and my life would flash before me, then I’d hear a click.
My friends know my tendency to over think things, and just want to leave it behind, so they’d always leave their guns empty, at least their sidearms, where I know to find them. So every time I’d try, I get a click to tell me ‘Dude, you’re young. Live, die later.’ It works. My friends would watch me every time, and as I awoke from depression, they’d pat me on the back, and hand me a beer.
Some friends they were.