The Alter Ego. The Dark Side. The Second Life. All three, in certain cases are one. In mine? The last two. Outside, I’m England. On the other side, I’m me. It was hard adjusting to it in the first place. Then I got used to it. But what I found harder, was to adjust to the fact that I renounced it. I kept trying to come back to it. And it almost pushed me off the cliff known as Sanity into the chasm of Insanity. It screwed around with my life. Having a shitload of money in one life, and being an average joe in the other, is hard to adjust to very. It’s around two and a half years since I decided to put an end to it. And after trying to go back, after trying to revert, and after a few unfortunate in incidents, I finally succeeded in sailing into friendly waters and anchoring myself there. In doing so, I dragged down many casualties. Relations, friendships, and my friends themselves.
As anchors are, they can be removed. I have, a couple of times, thought of doing so. But then I thought back, of how hard it was for me to get anchored here. But what if, the tides grasp me once more? What if the waves plunge me into the deepest darkest chasms in the sea of chaos? There is nothing, I suppose, nothing I can do, except believe, that in chaos lies order, sanity, and peace, and try to follow, and hang on that lifeline in the darkness. But I sure don’t hope it will come to that.